Ice on the surface, fire within.

Ice on the surface fire within Break the ice

connect with the fire.

In this world we are surrounded by many faces, some etched with smiles, some crinkled with laughter, some etched with worry, others seemingly carved from stone, many shrouded in a mask of indifference, a cool, impassive facade.

The story behind all these faces is a little different. Not always do people's inner feelings and motives get mirrored by their faces. We should not take things at face value.

We all wear masks more opaque than others. At times, they are carefully crafted. That aloof colleague, that stoic neighbour, that apparently emotionless fellow passenger on the bus or fellow driver on the road: confident smirks, stoic facial expressions, and walls of sarcasm. 

But sometimes, behind such exterior coldness lies a very powerful truth: behind each mask of ice that people wear is a heart that beats like fire.

The "ice" of the metaphor may refer to all our various and multiple motives for fanning a decision to mask our true selves from other people.
This wildfire symbolizes that wellspring, so very powerful and alive, with deep feeling within each of us, often hidden from view—that abundant reservoir of feelings ranging from love to grief, anger, joy, and all those in between, all of those fueling and sustaining life here on earth.

However, the "ice" masks are varied due to diverse life experiences.

It serves varied and many purposes that are important to our emotional well-being, thereby donning a mask of ice. We have all been hurt at one time in our lives or another, some of us most probably feel disappointment, betrayal, and emotional heartache so much that it feels unbearable. And the sting of that experience made us cautious and wary, and we are afraid to open ourselves once more and let others in. 

In this emotional turmoil, walls are built to protect from harm and hurt. As such, the mask is an important defence mechanism, working actively in shielding vulnerability from further hurting and harming and causing distress to trouble one's peace of mind. And of course, this cold surface is a reflection of the past: the experiences of trauma, loss, or neglect leave scars that are wary of the bond. 

We might shut ourselves off, become suspicious, and emotionally distanced—aloof, cynical, even angry.

Social pressures 

Social pressures play a very influential role in our lives, and expectations set by society can, at the end of the day greatly dictate how we are supposed to act, finally making us suppress emotions that might be inappropriate or unacceptable in someone's judgment. The man may be driven to suppress his sadness, but a woman may try to hide her ambition. Sometimes this mask is used for protection from any adversely hostile judgments.

 In our current world, densely anchored on categorizing and then trying to shove people into those categories, we are attuned to a version that is a bit more compellingly insipid—fearing the rejection that may follow laying bare authenticity in totality. So those masks then become ways to fit in, to avoid judgment or disapproval.

For strength and resilience

Sometimes, it's a mask that we put on each day, not because we are afraid or nervous, but because there is an inner need to care for the people who, we believe, rely on us. For example, a single parent has to have a mask on his or her face that shows strength and resilience. That way, the child does not see the personal battle or adversity going on, and the child has a sense of normality and safety. 

The same hearts behind all the protective masks wish for a life where kindness and love are manifested and determine desperately how to direct the fiercely tenacious drive to protect the little ones from unnecessary anxiety or pain.


Indeed, it's a tough world out there; sometimes a mask is the required armour, and often for very valid reasons, it is carefully constructed. At the very least, it means receptivity to the thought that behind those expressionless eyes lies an ocean of passion, and experiences.


But yet, those innermost fires remain cloaked in the thick layer of ice, never really extinguished. It is the state deep inside us that eventually becomes the epitome of being human through passion, dreams, and desires.

How can one connect with the hidden depths inside themselves and also with others?


Here are some food for thought that may further help us bridge the gap between the mask and the fire:

Empathy: Not being judgmental about the frozen cover; it is best to think through these and why. What could have driven them to such extremes in protecting who they are or were?

Active Listening: Engage in a process of really absorbing and understanding the spoken and unspoken words. Observe changes in tone of voice, hesitancy at times, and finally, outbursts of passion that may suddenly break through the veneer one may present.
Active listening creates an environment where another feels free to open up and express themselves as who they truly are, without fear or hesitation.

Kindness: A simple, unsolicited act of kindness goes a long way toward melting cold and hardened barriers that people may have put up around themselves. It shows another person that it is, indeed, both a safe and welcoming world in which to make a meaningful connection with others.

The quest to find that fire within is certainly two-way traffic:

For self-affirmation and confirmation of the presence of fire in those around us. Perhaps it appears at times that these ice monsters govern the entire globe, but this is not the case; behind the mask is an orchestra of emotions, a river overflowing with passion and terror mingled with hope. True, genuine relationships emerge only when we choose, with full awareness, to connect with the fire blazing underneath the cold, impermeable ice.

Oh, yes, our world is so much richer and more colourful when we just decide to join that fire that burns deep within each of us. The more we have begun to shed our own masks, piece by piece, bit by bit, the more our true selves have begun to be revealed to others and to ourselves, with all of our true passions for others and with others, the beginning of a world in which our interactions with others are characterized by warm feelings and heartfelt connections rather than coldness and indifference.

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